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still4given
10-21-2004, 10:46 AM
IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIRED PERSON...(WHOSE MIND WANDERS)

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Alex Lancaster
10-21-2004, 03:29 PM
Dear Terry:

Have You been smoking the cheap stuff sprayed with Paraquat again?

Blessings, Alex.

Mr. Widget
10-21-2004, 10:49 PM
Originally posted by Alex Lancaster
Dear Terry:

Have You been smoking the cheap stuff sprayed with Paraquat again?

Blessings, Alex.


:hmm: :rotfl: :yes: :rotfl:

Maron Horonzakz
10-22-2004, 07:48 AM
Terry ....You have made my day....And I,m not having a good day... After a coronary bypass. It feels good to laugh again.

Cal Weldon
10-22-2004, 10:22 AM
Originally posted by still4given
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

A lot of things are said to taste like chicken. :D

Delivered by car - it's a shipment
Delivered by ship - it's cargo

You park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

Thanks for the inspiration Terry,

Cal

Mr. Widget
10-22-2004, 10:44 AM
Originally posted by Maron Horonzakz
Terry ....You have made my day....And I,m not having a good day... After a coronary bypass. It feels good to laugh again.

Ouch! Don't laugh to hard. Good luck with your recovery.

Widget

scott fitlin
10-22-2004, 10:53 AM
Originally posted by Maron Horonzakz
Terry ....You have made my day....And I,m not having a good day... After a coronary bypass. It feels good to laugh again. Wow, Maron, Glad your ok, welcome back! Tunes through JBL helps healing process! Get well soon :D

Robh3606
10-22-2004, 11:11 AM
"Terry ....You have made my day....And I,m not having a good day... After a coronary bypass. It feels good to laugh again."

Hope your recovery is speedy. Good to see you back.

Rob:)

Nothing ever works out for me! I go fishing don't catch a thing, I go to an orgy and I catch everything!

Went to an AA meeting, they had a 2 drink minimum!


Rodney D.

Alex Lancaster
10-22-2004, 12:11 PM
Maron: Get well soon!, this is an order, We need Your comments.

Rodney: You better watch out, the happy days of simple Syphillis and Gonorrhea are over.

mikebake
10-23-2004, 12:08 PM
Why is it called a hot water heater? If it's hot water, why heat it?

Do burn victims get a discount at the crematorium?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?

Maron Horonzakz
10-24-2004, 09:07 AM
MIKE.......Stop it ....Oh it hurts good to laugh. Those were really good ones.

still4given
10-26-2004, 11:37 AM
Maron,

I'm praying for a full and speedy recovery.

Blessings, Terry