Marrital/Speaker Issues 101

[JBLCanuck]

Lesson #1

When you have your hopes set on that pair of 4343a's...or possibly a nice B-460 Sub to go with your 250Ti's, don't just head out to the bank, pull the cash & bring them home....this is grounds for immediate trouble.
The way we work this system is we comb through Craigslist until we find a decent set of 100T's for a few hundred bucks. Then we find a pair of L80's or maybe L36's. Then you bring home a pair of damaged L166's.
When we've just about reached point break with the misses...we take her for a nice dinner & tell her that you're really sorry for this selfishness & that you're going to sell off the bulk of the collection. Tell her that you've realized this isn't fair to her...having all these speakers everywhere.
"It's selfish & unfair & I don't need all these speakers" Try that one out.
Go ahead & list all the speakers on Craigslist & tell her that you obviously can't sell them all but you're going to "consolidate"
Class dismissed...see you Monday :)

[SEAWOLF97]

does it work ?

[JBLCanuck]

Not for me but it seems to be working well for you :applaud:

[hjames]

Not for me but it seems to be working well for you :applaud:

Nah, you HAVE to make her an advocate - get her invested in the gear! Play her favorite songs and let her hear how much better her music sound on really good speakers, even if you have to play, shudder, - "Bread" or ... "Abba", or some other schlock she likes to make the point.

That plan backfired on me - I had upgraded a pair of L-200s to near L300 specs about a year ago, and moved them from the TV room to the upstairs when we got the 4341 Monitors. I had planned to sell the L200s and put that money back in the bank - but - she liked the sounds of the L200s upstairs, where she says they fill the house with sound, and made me keep both pairs.

So, my speaker-fund/play-money is effectively locked down now ...

But she's so much fun to spend life with, so what can I say?

[SEAWOLF97]

Not for me but it seems to be working well for you :applaud:

after 36 years together, we tolerate each other pretty well.

Oh, I still get occaisional snide comments from "she who must be appeased" ,,,but actually DO have some spare pairs in need of boxes for shipping....just like I promised her....this week passed on a CL deal for four 4311WX's for $575 after reading reviews here. (and no place to put them)

But YES, those Control 250's did cost me an OUTBACK steak dinner for some domestic peace.

[Allanvh5150]

Or you can do what I did. Bid the whole lot, 2 x L150, 2 x L150A, 2 x L86, a custom center and 4 x 2235 and two 30'' racks with amps eq's etc! All hidden so no one can see inless I want them to. WAF is quite high.:)

[JBLCanuck]

even if you have to play, shudder, - "Bread" or ... "Abba", or some other schlock she likes to make the point.

HJ, Go Sit In The Corner!!

We don't play Abba for any reason :barf:

[Robh3606]

We don't play Abba for any reason :barf:

What wrong with ABBA?? Dancing Queen is quite catchy!

Rob:wasnt-me:

[SEAWOLF97]

What wrong with ABBA??

Rob:wasnt-me:

Yeah , I kinda liked the Sveedish/Mexican bandito , Fernando :D

[Titanium Dome]

ABBA makes my GF happy. I'll even go sing it karaoke with her.

I've got a house full of unnecessary speakers and a very happy partner who can listen to ABBA in any room in the house, except the laundry room. She doesn't go in there, but I do. That's another reason she's happy.

In fact, I'm doing laundry now.

[Robh3606]

In fact, I'm doing laundry now.

Me too along with a couple of other things. Seems like there is always something or other to do. I have that going while I build crossovers and watch Farscape, check the computer. Simply have to multitask to keep up.

Rob:)

[Doc Mark]

Hey, All,

Ditto on the laundry thing, and also doing the dishes, as well as many other household chores. Doesn't bother me one bit, and as my wife is the one who travels in our business, she's always very happy to see the place cleaned up (assuming, of course, that I make that happen!! :o:;) ) when she gets back home!

One other thing that you might wish to consider, and I believe this is the most important thing of all: Don't give HER grief over stuff that she wants to buy, or does buy!! Instead, support her, and tell her how nice everything looks, and how glad you are that she found what she was seeking!! The funny thing is that, once get begin doing this, you really WILL be happy with the things that she does to make herself happy, and she will do the very same for you!! Works, every single time, and isn't that kind of sharing and support that a happy marriage is all about, anyway!?!! Yep, it is in our book!! It's worked for over 28 years, and we're one of the happiest couples you will ever meet, too!!

For those that don't do this, give it a try. You will be surprized at how well it works, and also how much you, yourself, will like doing this!! Take care, and God Bless!

Every Good Wish,
Doc

[Akira]

The one great thing about living in Canada is that we have basements.
She may rule the house, but I am king of the dungeon!
Now I've just got to convince her to let me dig out another 2' in height...

[Chas]

[quote=hjames;222964]Nah, you HAVE to make her an advocate - get her invested in the gear! Play her favorite songs and let her hear how much better her music sound on really good speakers, even if you have to play, shudder, - "Bread" or ... "Abba", or some other schlock she likes to make the point.

What's the matter with Bread?;)

[Chas]

In fact, I'm doing laundry now.

Laundry? I'm too busy cooking for that.:p

[SEAWOLF97]

When she is around ....I just play the BBC sessions version of "Dazed & Confused" , you know, the one where Jimmy bows the electric guitar...she thinks it "spooky / weird" and goes off to the TV room and shuts the door....works every time. :bouncy:

[hjames]

[quote=hjames;222964]Nah, you HAVE to make her an advocate - get her invested in the gear! Play her favorite songs and let her hear how much better her music sound on really good speakers, even if you have to play, shudder, - "Bread" or ... "Abba", or some other schlock she likes to make the point.

What's the matter with Bread?;)
Really?? I want to make it (http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/bread/make+it+with+you_20024043.html)with you (http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/bread/make+it+with+you_20024043.html) ...

... oh please - what a whiney song ...

At least "I'd give everything I own"
was a wish, an homage to a long-passed-away parent ...

You Sheltered Me From Harm
You Kept Me Warm, You Kept Me Warm
You Gave My Life to Me
You Set Me Free, You Set Me Free
The Finest Years I Ever Knew
Were All the Ones I Spent With You.

I Would Give Anything I Own
I'd Give Up My Life, My Heart, My Home.
I Would Give Everything I Own
Just to Have You Back Again.

You Taught Me How to Love
And What It's Of, What It's of
You Never Said Too Much But Still You Showed the Way
And So I Knew From Watching You
Nobody Else Can Ever Know
The Part of Me That Can't Let Go.

And I Would Give Anything I Own
I'd Give Up My Life, and My Heart, My Home.
I Would Give Everything I Own
Just to Have You Back Again.
Just to Touch You Once Again.

Is There Someone You Know,
You're Loving Them So, But Taking Them All For Granted.
You May Lose Them One Day, Someone Takes Them Away
And They'll Never Hear the Words You Have to Say.

And I Would Give Anything I Own
I'd Give Up My Life, and My Heart, My Home.
I Would Give Everything I Own
Just to Have You Back Again.

Everything Thing I Own (Everything I Own)
My Life, My Heart, My Home
I'd Give Everything I Own (Everything I Own)
My Life, My Heart, My Home

Every Little Thing, Every Little Thing, Every Little, Every Little Thing You Ever Wanted
Every Little Thing, Every Little Thing, Every Little, Every Little Thing You Ever Wanted
Every Little Thing, Every Little Thing, Every Little, Every Little Thing You Ever Wanted.
...
To Only Have You Back Again, Just to Hold You Back Again.

[Chas]

See? It ain't so bad....

[Titanium Dome]

heh. Baby I'm-a want you.

There's an "F" in English class.

[just4kinks]

I worked out a deal with my wife:

For every cubic foot of speakers I have in our living space, she gets a cubic foot of storage space in my garage / workshop.

It might not work for everyone but it was a pretty good compromise for us.

[Ducatista47]

The fact is, very few women (as compared to the majority of men) seem to have the gene that makes audio fidelity something worthy of the least attention. As women are, as a group, endowed with better hearing, I assume it must be cultural. Or hard wired, like choosing a mate based on the ancient ability to protect and provide for offspring.

Every woman I ever knew who taught in a music department didn't notice the difference between a great stereo and a record player with three quarters strapped to the tone arm. When they turned it up the distortion was close to 100% and they noticed nothing.

There are many exceptions, but this all makes bringing a wife on board the audio bandwagon a tough sell for most of us.

As for preference in music, my wife is tolerant but unyielding. I am a heavy Jazz head. She sees no sense whatsoever in anything without a singer and lyrics even existing. "It's stupid." When she is not blasting show tunes (Rent is her current favorite play) she does indeed like Bread and America. I do not think she like ABBA.

It is not difficult to out-ABBA ABBA if you have talent. I happen to think Take A Chance On Me was their best hit song. In this and this alone I agree with Elton John. Here is ABBA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuB8xWeA59I

Please enjoy or suffer through it and note the big & little things about the content of the presentation. The ultra talented Erasure liked ABBA and put out an EP of material which is credited with the still healthty ABBA revival. So... they uncorked this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJu4aH2JAPw Just to prove there must be a special room in Hell waiting for me - probably to run - I enjoy watching this as much as the best Jazz Baltica videos I treasure.

For the record, the "blond" covering Agnetha, synth genius and co founder of Depeche Mode and Yazoo Vince Clark, is straight. Andy Bell, the singer covering Anni-frid, is one of the most openly gay people on Earth. I love and admire them both for their music, their talent and their lifestyles.

Now full circle. Bjorn Again, the ABBA cover band(s - there are four or five editions touring right now), covered Erasure's most well know song, A Little Respect, ABBA style. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn5sUMZ-M0k

The moral of all this is that no matter how repulsive it seems at first blush, you can find something to like or at least a mutual admiration connection between what your spouse likes and what you crave. That is my method for dealing with all this, through the music.

I still don't like Broadway music with the exception of Gershwin penned tunes. Rent has cultural strength but musical weakness. The Gershwin brothers wrote some of the most important music we have. No matter what else a tune might have, I am gone if the music is not worthy. But you know what? That is my problem, not my wife's.

Bottom line, I love music and I love Nancy. With those stakes on the table I'll always find a way to play.

Clark

Edit: It occurs to me most of you do not know, or perhaps detest Erasure. Here is the real version of the best SynthPop song ever recorded. Even better than Crowded House's Don't Dream It's Over. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfPEYQRcyqI&NR=1 Don't worry about the video, just enjoy the music. Andy Bell is the best male singer I ever heard besides Lawrence Tibbett. And if you think Vince a tasteless synth geek, notice him playing a National resophonic.

[4313B]

She sees no sense whatsoever in anything without a singer and lyrics even existing. "It's stupid."Classic! :applaud:

[Regis]

....yeah, with nobody else!. You know when I'm with my JBL's, there's just them and nothing else!

But really, I do most of my listening by myself. The signficant other and I have a system. I leave the cell phone on the coffee table and when she pulls in the garage, she calls me. That way, I can turn it down. But she's still way ok with it, even at volume.

Once in awhile, we have the smooth jazz going. Not too old school. Boney James, Stanley Clark, Bob James, etc.

[pmakres1]

ABBA makes my GF happy. I'll even go sing it karaoke with her.

I've got a house full of unnecessary speakers and a very happy partner who can listen to ABBA in any room in the house, except the laundry room. She doesn't go in there, but I do. That's another reason she's happy.

In fact, I'm doing laundry now.

Good thing you have a PC in the laundry room...:applaud:

[John]

Every woman I ever knew who taught in a music department didn't notice the difference between a great stereo and a record player with three quarters strapped to the tone arm. When they turned it up the distortion was close to 100% and they noticed nothing.




Well there into music and not the electronics that produce it and even thou you enjoy music as well, your caught up into what caps are in the xovers and of course the alnico-ceramic debate. :hmm:
Is the foil-cal mint.:p Is that a snag in the blue grill cloth,:crying: And don,t forget what tubes to run when listening to jazz and which one's to run with rock or blues!!!;)

:slink:

[Ducatista47]

Well there into music and not the electronics that produce it...


True enough and more power to them, but at live performance these same women could tell you which year the Stradivarius was made by the sound of it. When listening to recorded music it was as if only the value of the notes mattered and the quality of the sound didn't exist. Yet live, they all claimed to have Golden Ears.

I could conclude 1) Either I am wasting my time building a system that can play as many types of music as as realistically as possible (*), or 2) These women can turn something on and off like a switch, like a part of their brain. Perhaps that is something women can learn from musical training that men can not. Personally, I doubt it. I don't doubt that the ability to selectively ignore reality would be both a blessing and a curse. I surely would not want it without having full conscious control of the ability. No way do I want music Alzheimer's.

*Nothing personal, and humor taken, but without changing tubes; a system that is only good at playing some styles of music is inferior. As far as I am concerned, "Good rock speakers" or "Good classical speakers" are not as good as they should be. An amp that is "lacking bass definition" or has "rolled off highs" is pretty useless unless you are biamping. Amps with less than transparent midrange make great doorstops. As for foilcals, grill cloth, veneer and such, I fortunately do not care what speakers and electronics look like, and I mean at all. Fancy looking gear and speakers as furniture make as much sense to me as decorating a condom. Unless I live in a Frank Lloyd Wright house I care much more about music than interior decoration. A fellow has to have his priorities. I listen with the lights down low or off anyway. Those with huge WAF issues, get out the veneer and metal polish, but hopefully pick your gear by sound alone.

Clark

[John]

*Nothing personal, and humor taken, but without changing tubes; a system that is only good at playing some styles of music is inferior. As far as I am concerned, "Good rock speakers" or "Good classical speakers" are not as good as they should be. An amp that is "lacking bass definition" or has "rolled off highs" is pretty useless unless you are biamping. Amps with less than transparent midrange make great doorstops. As for foilcals, grill cloth, veneer and such, I fortunately do not care what speakers and electronics look like, and I mean at all. Fancy looking gear and speakers as furniture make as much sense to me as decorating a condom. Unless I live in a Frank Lloyd Wright house I care much more about music than interior decoration. A fellow has to have his priorities. I listen with the lights down low or off anyway. Those with huge WAF issues, get out the veneer and metal polish, but hopefully pick your gear by sound alone.

Clark[/quote]


I can't argue with any of that. :thmbsup:

[Mr. Widget]

When listening to recorded music it was as if only the value of the notes mattered and the quality of the sound didn't exist. Yet live, they all claimed to have Golden Ears.

I could conclude 1) Either I am wasting my time building a system that can play as many types of music as as realistically as possible (*), or 2) These women can turn something on and off like a switch...How about this?

They do in fact have amazing golden ears and the reproduction chain, including the recording, is so far off the mark, they lose interest in every aspect but the music itself?


Widget

[Ducatista47]

That is also entirely possible. Nice observation. Lord knows wives' abilities to ignore husbands is the stuff of legend. Unless, of course, their steel trap memory grabs hold of something to forever hold against the poor bloke.

Clark

[Doc Mark]

Greetings, All,

Well, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am a blessed man!! Sweet Bride really loves our new L300's, and can easily hear the difference in their abilities, compared to other systems we've used over our 28 year time together. She thinks they are beautiful, too, and though large, she does not think they are "too" large, at all! How much better does it get?!! OH, a little better, actually! I have been out of State for the last week, or so, and whilst I was away, Sweet Bride actually fired up our stereo system, all by herself, so she could enjoy the extra "umph" that our L300's offer when watching DVDs!! She has rarely done that in the past, but likes the depth of the L300's so much, that she HAD to do it while I was gone! I'm proud of her, and thankful that she does, indeed, hear the difference the big JBL's have added to our system!! :applaud::D:bouncy: Take care, and God Bless!

Every Good Wish,
Doc (Grateful for his many blessings, not the least of which is my wonderful wife!!!)